The Insomniac With Spinning Nunchakus In His Cranium, Part II

I know that I'm repeating myself again, but that feeling of realisation - of acceptance - about something in your life is one of the best feelings ever. That peculiar-looking jigsaw piece finds its place and you can discern the greater picture, or perhaps just a fragment: a guide. Even when there are lost pieces still finding their places, you can smile at your progression and growth.

I find when I can't sleep - when the nunchakus are again spinning dangerously close to self-injury - when perhaps I'm mad or sad or generally troubled, I write a paragraph of laughable thoughts, usually scarcely related to my madness or sadness or troubles, and it's like a long-needed, well-earned exhale; the kind of exhale you'd do when returning to the surface of a deep, cool lake.

I break the surface, and I am again ready for sleep. I wish I were wiser, and these moments of clarity came a little earlier, before damage is done. But control of such things is an illusion, I'm happy to say. And I am even happier knowing that all things in the past, are exactly that. This perspective is perhaps the most freeing.

Free is related to the Dutch word vrij, and the Germanic word frei. It is from an Indo-European root meaning "to love". I don't know how I find this stuff, but I find it unequivocally interesting.

Sweet Dreams Ethan..