Memoir, Part II

When we set off on the voyage from Mackay to Townsville, almost all of my fellow first-time sailors succumbed to seasickness. I was somehow blessed with sea legs at birth and spent the majority of my time on the first day helping to clean up vomit, hold back hair and supportively pat backs. It was certainly an interesting way of meeting new people. As my sister Amber was designated to a different watch, this was the first time in my life where I had to meet new people of different ages and backgrounds. I also came to realise my talent for brewing ambrosial hot chocolate from water, condensed milk and Milo: a voyage of discovery, indeed.

A seventeen-year-old, six foot tall boy named Mitch became my best friend on my watch, which was a little strange as I was the youngest and shortest on the voyage and he was one of the oldest, and definitely the tallest. Our friendship began on the second day; we had the mid-afternoon watch, which meant that although we missed the dolphins and turtles of the early morning watch, it did mean that we missed out on cleaning the ship. But there were downfalls. As it was only the second day, we didn’t realise that Captain Sarah liked to sun-bake in a bikini during the early afternoon. Mitch and I created the game that we liked to call Trying Desperately To Remove Images From Our Short Term Memory. Although this game didn’t work, we didn’t yet have the courage to carry out our postulated game of Scratching Out Our Corneas With A Spoon.

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Our route took us alongside the Great Barrier Reef, where Mitch and I tried making a fishing line out of rope, shoe laces and a broken tin can after seeing a monster Spanish Mackerel lazily gliding beneath the ship. We also made it onto an AM radio station while we were docked at Bowen and broadcasted our abhorrent singing ability by belting out several classic rock songs. But the most memorable event happened on the fifth day when it was announced that the crew would re-enact the wedding of Matthew Flinders and Ann Chappelle. The twist was that the ceremony would be a cross-gendered affair; boys will be female characters, and girls will be male characters. Guess who played the role of Ann Chappelle?

As one of the girls in my watch was applying my make-up and teaching me the surprisingly meticulous method of pressing my lips on a tissue to set my lipstick, I noticed my sister peering in through the cabin door. She was wearing old brown shorts, the classic dark grey cabin boy vest, a beaten tricorne hat, and a facetious smile from ear to ear. She laughed, leaned towards the person who had just appeared behind her, and said, “Dad’s not going to be happy when he hears about Ethan dressing up like a girl.”

The person Amber had just spoken to was Captain Sarah.

It was I who then had a facetious smile from ear to ear. Amber quickly realised that she had expertly yet unknowingly performed the odious faux pas that I had feared myself making, and developed a severe case of foot-in-mouth disease. Captain Sarah exhaled with a smile and said, “Fathers never are.”

When the odd ceremony was set to begin, the crew was waiting on deck. As young teenagers, all less than seventeen years of age, everyone was a little embarrassed, quite awkward, and incredibly unsure of themselves. Unfortunate photographs were taken that I’m sure will make someone a lot of money if I, or any other member of the crew ever become an influential or distinguished member of society. The last member of the crew to arrive on deck was Captain Sarah and it soon became apparent that everyone was thinking the same thing: what was she going to be wearing? Almost disappointingly, Captain Sarah rose from the galley dressed in a long purple evening gown. Having become accustomed to Captain Sarah’s attire, we all thought that it would be more outrageous for her to be dressed as a male. My sister had the honour of walking me, Ann Chappelle, down the aisle to Matthew Flinders: a young girl named Kim, whom I had a barely-concealed crush on. Perhaps it wasn’t the best scenario for wooing a girl, but hey, I still married her.

What started off as an awkward and seemingly condemnable social peccadillo became one of the first times in my life that I felt comfortable laughing at myself. To this day, when I catch up with Mitch via email we still laugh about the trip and my first marriage. It was perhaps the best (albeit the most extreme) way to express the maxim that follows you through your schooling life: “be who you want to be”. I certainly learnt that lesson; even if I had initially thought that my dear mother had dropped my sister and I into the introduction of one of those scandalous Today Tonight exclusives.

Remembering Ethan..